The Making of a Modern Tragedy

Picture Time

2009-12-21T02:39:00.002-05:00

So Sunday morning I go to the store bright and early to get a copy of the paper...Lo and behold my son's picture is pasted in the sports section...I go up to the Harpies aerie to show her...she looks and goes downstairs to show my son and my mother...I had been up all night posting footage of the game to youtube so I fell asleep while they were still passing the paper around...I wake up and try in vain to find the paper...it is NWTBF...Has anyone seen the paper with his picture? Yup, Harpy has it and she has claimed it for her own, once again proclaiming herself sole proprietor over anything which enters her domicile. What about me... I bought the dang paper...I'll make you a copy...No your mother has a copy you guys share it, this one is mine...I'm not being petty mind you...I can get another copy...it's the principle behind it...If she were the one who had bought the paper and I had taken it, it would be akin to a mortal sin...but because of her false sense of entitlement what she gets is hers and everyone else can suffer...and what everyone else gets is also hers and that's that...there is no argument, there is no question, she has exclusive right to anything and everything she wants no matter who pays for or obtains it...

The Rental

2009-12-21T02:19:00.002-05:00

To pick up from last week...we managed to secure a rental car...unfortunately, in spite of the fact that I doled out the cash, Harpy had to procure said vehicle...Which means...that's right...Harpy tries once again to claim sovereignty over all others in matters car related...i.e., I'm the driver so I should get to listen to whatever I want and everyone else can f*** off, I want to stop here for food but we aren't going to stop there for you to pick up a pair of gloves, in fact if she doesn't feel it is beneficial to her no one goes anywhere...We get to where we are going...Watch my son's team win the championship and head to the nearest buffet place with the team...I am forced to dole out even more cash to cover the five members of our party...four of whom I have no reservations about paying for, mind you, but number five of course has said I'll receive the money back from her dinner...I'd hold my breath but the shade of blue I would turn doesn't go with my eyes and I'd be holding my breath for a long time...Then the gas money issue arises...she has none...okay no problem, it was for my son so it's money well spent...however I will only put enough in to get us from point a to point b and back again...I carefully calculated the amount and bought just enough...I knew that if I bought more she would abscond with the vehicle and spend money we could be using for the kids to make sure she had gas to drive around with her bf...So on Sunday the car sat in the driveway for the majority of the day...We were only allowed limited use of it and only if my mother was going to the store for Harpy...

Thermals

2009-12-14T20:27:00.003-05:00

Okay...where were we...Last Thursday I purchase a set of thermals for my daughter...we will be going somewhere on Saturday and it is supposed to be cold...She knows if harpy finds out I have bought her the thermals a fight over misspending of my funds (buying stuff for the kids directly instead of putting the fundage in Harpaic pockets) will result in Inquisition style questioning...So we decide Mommy Dearest should not find out about them...Well guess who finds out...yup...Harpy...so my daughter tells her a friend from school bought them for her...Harpy begins to chastise the child proclaiming that her acceptance of the "alleged" gift is tantamount to proclaiming that she is a charity case..As punishment for accepting the thermals from "her friend" a Harpaic declaration is issued...a decree which states that the aforementioned offender (my daughter) will receive naught more than underwear and thermals for Christmas...So let's see YOU won't purchase them but no one else is allowed to either...This is reminiscent of the coat episode which occurred not too long ago wherein my son was given one of the four winter coats my mother brought home form her last trip North...upon seeing my son in the jacket she shrieked in horror "Where did you get that?"...my son informed her that his grandmother had given it to him..."Take it off!"...upon seeing him hesitate to obey her order she screamed.."Take that f***ing jacket off..I didn't buy it so you can't wear it...you haven't worn any of the jackets I bought you and I'll be damned if you're going to wear one someone else gave you..." The interesting thing here is she hasn't bought him a coat for a loooong time so his winter coats are old...Now the funny thing about this is an amazing contradiction which occurred after the initial coat argument..My daughter had taken a liking to a particular coat from the four my mother had brought and nothing was said about her wearing it...Right now you're probably sitting there saying..."But...um...er...she yelled about the thermals...and your son's coat...why would...uh...?" Stop wondering, this is an Harpaic phenomenon known as "If I can make it into a reason to yell I will contradict every other thing I have done or said"

Let me cite some prime examples:

To son: All jobs require a urine test

To son later in same conversation: Your uncle didn't need to take a pee test

To my mother upon hearing she had used some sports cream on sons sore shoulder:You don't put anything on my son without clearing it through me first, the stuff you used has such and such and if they test him his sports career is over (It contained no such thing)

Fact: Harpy has used sports cream on him which DOES contain a substance which can cause a false positive reading

To daughter: Your friend has no future because his mother lives in her mothers house (???)

Fact: After we broke up Harpy lived with her mother until her mothers demise in 2008(?)

To son: You have a poor judgement of character when it comes to friends

Fact:She has introduced my children to an ex-con who was selling my brother drugs, one of her boyfriends pulled a knife when he saw my son approaching the car, her current bf who buys drugs for his mother and insists on pointing out the place where he buys them to my kids and their friends

To me: The kids are the way they are because of you and your family

To daughter: I was the same way you were at 14 and I'll go "all ghetto" on your ass just like I used to when I was 14 if you wanna bring it..

The last one is the most intriguing of all because while proclaiming my family as the problem

A.) She fully admits to having acted the exact same way at this age

B.) Due to her and her mother's obsessive need for control me and my family have had a limited influence on the children

C.) This behavior started occurring while she was here in Va and I was still in NY and was the reason she called me to come down in the first place...

I was going to cover more topics in this post but I think this is enough for this one...

Into the Abyssal Maw

2009-12-07T01:49:00.002-05:00

The Harpy (aka the Lich Queen) will be deposed from her throne...I hope..both kids want to tell people what's been going on...The only thing that concerns me is any feeling of guilt they might feel afterwards...and retribution on behalf of their mother...I will try to keep them from having to talk too much with the audio I have stockpiled since our last attempt at rebellion...If all goes well this final cataclysm will knock the Harpy down from her lofty perch...If not than the gates will open and all hell will break loose...I have already warned the kids once the ball starts rolling we will be unable to stop it and if we fail everyone will have to face her wrath...

2009-12-06T17:29:00.000-05:00

Is anyone even looking at this page or am I wasting my time?

All of a sudden...

2009-12-06T17:03:00.002-05:00

The is cozying up to my son for the first time in months she has him upstairs in "her part" of the house...(The house is divided into two sections:Her section(upstairs)...which has a heater and an electric blanket...a computer...lights in both rooms...and is relatively warm... Me and the kids section(downstairs) which has one heater for three rooms not including the kitchen and the bathroom...low wattage lamps in two rooms and no light source in the living room...one computer for three people...and is cold unless you are sitting right by the heater) Anyway since he is going to state she has decided that he should come up and watch football with her...she has also decided that she has to find transportation to the state game...transportation which should she decide not to use her van leaves me and my mother out of the plans...Harpy questioned the feasibility of using her car to get there...and in the process revealed yet another not too surprising revelation..she says her car makes it to Williamsburg when her and her bf go to the movies...Which is roughly a 30 mile trip..when questioned by my daughter about her going out to the movies or wherever with her bf her response was simple "We'll go to Williamsburg in January when I get my refund..."...Plus she will be buying herself a new laptop with her refund and a new car with her refund...I have yet to hear her once mention the kids when she talks about her refund..My son's mattress has springs poking up out of it and she has yet to get him a new one...my daughter has nothing with which to entertain herself except this computer which doesn't work that well and a TV which barely has any reception..I would buy them things except my paychecks are way too small to buy them more than snacks at the store or random little things they want that aren't too expensive...My daughter used to have a stereo she could play CD's with but Harpy demolished it when my daughter refused to wake up at 10:30 P.M. to clean her room sometime in September...

FREE In home therapy.....

2009-12-05T01:53:00.002-05:00

The psychiatrist suggested that we might give this a shot...I figured why not? Waited for the therapist to call me...after seven days of phone tag find out that they had gotten a hold of Harpy first...and she turned it down...when I questioned her about it i was told "I don't want those f-ing people here and it's my house so case closed..." However she wants her to go back to the psychiatrist so he can put her back on the drugs...

2009-12-05T01:21:00.002-05:00

Today Harpy allegedly went to work...I say allegedly because I was off and went to speak to my son's coach...on the way home I stopped at the 7-11 and lo and behold I see her van...at 3 o'clock...when she was allegedly at work...so either she didn't go to work or she let her boyfriend use the van...either way she had enough gas to drive ten miles away from her job but not enough gas to let my mother go to the store last night so the kids could eat...She also told me and my mother her bf was staying over tonight and we had to find somewhere else to sleep because her bf didn't know we were staying here anymore...So my mother left...I was not so quick to oblige...stayed anyway...bf came in for about ten minutes then they left...tomorrow I'm sure I will get the lecture and of course I will post it...

On an unrelated note...talked to son yesterday and he told me how pissed he was that she stiffed him on his birthday and still was able to get her nails done while telling him he didn't get anything because she was broke...he knows I can't afford anything so he's not pissed at me (he also knows when I do get any significant amounts of cash they get anything they need...he has stated that I take care of them more than their mother does...) The second I can scrape up enough cash he will get his guitar...that she promised him for his birthday...Only it will be from me..

Harpy Rules for the Children Concerning Future Mates

2009-12-04T04:39:00.003-05:00

Son: Girl must be either mixed or black. Can't be too black though. Can't be fat. Can't be ugly seeing as she doesn't want ugly grandkids. White girls strictly forbidden...they are not good mates and he has to carry on the black lineage anyway.

Daughter: Boy must be mixed (unsure on whether whites are allowed for her) . Boy can't be black because it will erase the white genes...

My rules: I have no such rules... if they like them it's their choice...don't care what size shape or color they are...

2009-12-03T21:27:00.002-05:00

Last night tells kids house has to be spotless for "exterminator" so get to work....Kids know no exterminator is coming...it would in fact be the bf...so they stop cleaning. This morning I am sleeping ex comes into son's room and yells "Get the f-k up and get the f-k out of my house I got f-ing company coming over.." (Mind you it's 7 A.M. and I was getting up to go to work anyway). I walk out the door and my mother catches up to me at bus stop...Apparently...after I had walked out the door my son went to go to the bathroom and he was told that it was too bad that he had to go she was cleaning the bathroom so he had to wait until he got to school...daughter missed bus because ex went nazi and demanded to see what shirt she was wearing and daughter was late for school....Came home from work daughter is on computer and informs me my mother and son left because ex came home and began ranting and raving about the toaster...take kids to store daughter forgets she has baked potato in oven....return to house and ex asks who was cooking and daughter goes "oh...."...ex bakes two potatoes for herself..daughter says Nan said she would save three potatoes for her to bake..mother says too f-ing bad I pay for the food...then Harpy proceeds to also eat 2 of the 3 porkchops leaving only one.....Must be a new math thing because there are two kids and now only one porkchop...Then she informs me that if I'm off tomorrow I better find somewhere to go because her bf is coming over and it's her house..She also took off from work yesterday to spend time with him..and went in late today to spend time with him...yet she has no money for food...um....yeah...thats smart take off from work and then bitch about not having money...and hit up all your relatives for it...and you ex and your ex mother in law and your ex brother in law/ex boyfriend....Son also informed me tonight that her other ex was selling drugs (To my brother no less) back up in NY and that he had also hit them on a few occasions...and smashed in my daughters door...My daughter asked me if SHE could report her mother to child support and I told her just wait until after my son's state championship game next weekend....He has enough stress right now he doesn't need more...oh and the cats need food so what little money she has is going to buy cat food...more later kid wants comp....

2009-12-03T03:38:00.009-05:00

After my son's state game on the twelfth of December will be putting up vid of my ex deliberately instigating daughter before psychiatrists appt..girl was smart enough to tape the ride...psychiatrist stated clearly that the mother should not be around the child...but since I don't have my own place...yup that's right...screwed again...

Signs of Emotional Maltreatment

child

Shows extremes in behavior, such as overly compliant or demanding behavior, extreme passivity, or aggression

Is either inappropriately adult (parenting other children, for example) or inappropriately infantile (frequently rocking or head-banging, for example)

Reports a lack of attachment to the parent

parent

Constantly blames, belittles, or berates the child

Is unconcerned about the child and refuses to consider offers of help for the child's problems

Overtly rejects the child

Signs of Neglect

child

Lacks needed medical or dental care, immunizations, or glasses

parent

Appears to be indifferent to the child

All of the above things have been witnessed by countless professionals yet no one is able to help me...Or my kids...No real resources for dads in this situation...but if I was a mother I'd get tons of referrals to agencies to help me...any lawyers looking to go after these agencies for gender discrimination? And the psychiatric hospital where they locked my daughter up and didn't even bother questioning anybody else from the family? Like my son? Or my mother who was present at the time of the incident that caused my child to be hospitalized for observation for five days? Not to mention they seem to have overlooked the above mentioned signs of abuse and my daughters claims of abuse and just threw her on drugs? Which her mother gave her only when and if she misbehaved...The same drugs which the even the psychiatrist said she should have never been given after seeing my daughters aforementioned video? Or maybe the school system for the time my son was brought into the office with a guidance counselor and a social services rep...both of whom he told about my ex yanking my daughter up and punching her inf the face...both of whom responded by telling him to let them know "The next time it happened"...Or maybe I could sue CPS for the pictures I emailed of bruises from the Harpy's first clash with my daughter...an email which they were made aware of by one of my daughters counselors and never replied to...Any takers? Be forewarned however I'll take no settlements...I want this to run a full judiciary course regardless of a monetary outcome. To just take a sack of bills and shut up won't help any people in the future who run into the same situation as me...

Also should sue child support...told them last year I had been living with them for three years and all they did was send her a letter asking if it were true she checked off no and then said if I tried it again me and "the little bitch" could get the f-k out...

2009-12-03T03:18:00.005-05:00

Monday night ex gets home from work muffler is falling off her car....9:00 dark outside and pouring...demands I go out and "tie it up" so it isn't dragging... (had been tied up once already by a tow truck driver about four months ago)...says she can't go to work if I don't do it...not my problem...right?...Wrong... when realizing that the original reason isn't working says she was going to send my mother out to get dinner at the supermarket and if I don't tie it up she won't be able to send mother to store...Try to get under car..soaking wet no light and can't fit...tell my mother to try to move the car so it's a little higher off ground...gets stuck in mud..ex comes out yelling oh great you got my car stuck in the f-ing mud..son and neighbor down block both come out in rain to help ex disappears back into house...tie up muffler go to store...When we get back ex states that I should have done it anyway because we use the car too...We only are allowed to use the car when going to the store for ex but she considers that our privilege...Tuesday night says she is making something daughter doesn't like asks me to buy daughter something at store that she likes...no problem...Have to finish something real quick first...getting ready to go and ex starts yelling at daughter about how she should just go without if she don't like what she's cooking...apparently she forgot that her dumb ass was the person who told my daughter that she could get something else...tell my mother to get ready to drive me and my daughter. Ex says no you aren't going to take my car and waste my gas...so my daughter asks if we can go to McDonalds seeing as we can walk there..I say okay...ex says I cannot take child with me...I take her anyway so her fries aren't cold by the time I walk back to house....ex rants and raves about A:What I bought B:The fact I took the child with me....

Tonight ex tells me she's not renewing her lease is getting a place with her boyfriend and me and my mother better find another place....Tells me I better not try anything to get kids...Later proceeds to make nasty comment to my daughter about how flatchested she is...(Not the first time either...my daughter told me once before that her mother had asked her why she didn't have a chest and told her that at her age her chest was big)...but i'm supposed to let this lady take her with her when she moves...Have to find alternate source of income quick or this child will be tortured without me there to stop this woman...Any suggestions?

2009-11-29T17:15:00.002-05:00

The ex sat up in her room all day playing 80's music at top volume...has not interacted with the kids at all...Not like this is new the only time she comes down from her nest is to yell at someone...Or tell my mother to go get something from the store...Or both...

2009-11-28T22:41:00.002-05:00

Ex tells son he did no real work last night than contradicts herself by telling daughter that he played hard last night and she wants her to clean. Tells son later why should I feed you you ain't done shit i asked you to. And once again her rich aunt bails her out of rent crisis..aunt has no idea she has been borrowing from everyone and barely paying any of her own bill much less buying stuff for the kids...Addendum..last night son asked her to stay and watch sportscenter like they HAVE ALWAYS done after his game but her bf was more important...she left at 11:20 last night and didn't come home until this morning...also informed him that when he tried to call her on a previous occasion she was on the phone with bf and didn't feel like answering his call...he says he was calling her to pick him up from practice she tells him to learn how to walk home..

Desperation

2009-10-01T11:27:00.001-04:00

Let us look at the big picture.

Phin cannot get child support reviewed, because H has said if he does this she will make sure he no longer lives there. Then the kids are at her mercy alone. Which is unthinkable.

Child support will not investigate the fact that H is not SPENDING any of the child support on the children, as they do no investigate such claims. They instead refer you to family services and tell you to put in a complaint of child abuse/neglect. Which Phin has done--even sending them pictures of bruises left on the girl. They say que sera sera and dance merrily around the room and ignore him (and al other complaintants) while Phin tears his hair out.

Mind you, if Phin were to stop paying child support to H to take care of his kids himself? He'd be arrested lickety split.

If he gets a second job--again, kids are at her mercy. And if there's
on thing that broad doesn't have? It's mercy!

Lawyer? YOU try finding a pro bono lawyer willing to help a guy with no cash down there.

The teachers at the school, are, apparently, either useless or unconvincing when/if they call child services.

And so Phin said sod it, tired of dealing with things at a local level. And called the National Child Abuse hotline.

They told him that the psychological abuse was he said/she said type of thing. And when he inquired as to taping H to have PROOF of this? They lambasted HIM saying surely you CANNOT do this legally!

Well how the hell else is he supposed to prove it?!

No, No, Throw MOMMA From the Train

2009-09-16T08:05:00.002-04:00

Oh Phans of Phinny. I suck, yay verily. For the past few days Phin has been ringing with one query 'Have you posted yet??' And I'm all like 'Dude!! Totally working on it'

I'm crap, clearly.

The reason Phin is so adamant that I post just now is that Great Things are Afoot!

Courtesy of his youngest child.

And the Harpaic Wonder, of course. Without whom none of this fucking INSANITY would be possible.

So. We use the H word when describing her lordship for a reason. That reason is twofold (Does that even make sense? I don't bloody know, it's 7 AM and I haven't slept yet. Thus!-we shall pretend it does). First is the obvious SPOT ON mythological connotations [Greek Mythology. One of several loathsome, voracious monsters with the head and trunk of a woman and the tail, wings, and talons of a bird]. Secondly is the fact that she harps on everything over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. And over.

How annoying was that to read, ladies and gents?

Well just imagine being stuck in a room with her while she goes on and on and over and over. Never meandering from the same base argument-- repeating everything she's just said as if she's on a loop sequence pre-set for 10 minute replays.

Better yet--imagine being stuck in a CAR with her when she's on one of her little rants. I know that because it's happened to me--and when ignoring her doesn't work--and telling her to fuck off doesn't work--there is just the wistful staring out of the window and wondering if you can manage to jump out of a car going 60 mph. Or if you might get lucky and drop dead of a heart attack. Or some such.

And it is just such an event which brings me here to you today.

You see, a week or so ago, Phin's youngest--in the midst of one of H's non-stop nag sessions--said 'Och. Sod this. I'm hopping out of the car'

While it was still moving.

Now. In all fairness the car wasn't going very fast and it was approaching a stop sign, which is why the kid thought to do this to begin with. Problem is, when the H is mad, she tends to speed up.

And at the very last minute the child thought to herself 'What the hell am I doing? I can't hop out of this van--even if it *is* going slow!'

Alas!--it was too late. She managed to trip over her feet and right out the van door. Even though she'd changed her mind about being stuntwoman of the year. Her klutziness was rewarded with two very broken arms, as she'd thrown them out in front of her to stop her head from becoming good friends with the local asphalt.

She is, aside from her two busted wings, quite good. A quick surgery on each arm--and eight weeks in casts and she'll be right as rain. And I shall get into the whytos and wherefores of both sides of the Alleged Argument that prompted her to take her tiptoe through the concrete Tulips in my next post.

For the moment, though, I wish to leave you with a few Gems Harpaic.

Now let me say now that, no matter the circumstances of how the child got hurt, I can understand being annoyed at their complete stupidity--anyone could. That being said, though, when you are sitting in the hospital with said child, who, if you'll recall, has two broken frickin'
arms, is in sever pain and drugged to the hilt, and that child says 'Mommy, can you fix my blankets?' The answer is NOT 'I don't feel like it right now' And then busying yourself with texting and taking pictures of the kid on your cellphone to send to everyone in your address book!

Unless you're the H, it seems.

She is apparently going for mother of the year. For not more than a few days later the child had the aforementioned surgery. Upon coming home, the child had to pee like nobodys business, apparently. We are talking not more than 4 or 5 hours post-op.

Anyone care to guess what dear old H's answer was?

Answers on a postcard!

~~~~Typhoidmarie

Blondie

2009-01-23T03:17:00.002-05:00

Oh phans of Phinny!

I am here to apologize profusely for my complete LACK of postings while Phinny remains puterless.

The lad asks me for ONE favor and what do I do? Well, nothing, obviously.

At least not in a timely manner.

It's just that I've been so bloody busy. And I can never concentrate when I'm NOT busy. Hell, my own blog is, as of late, a testament to the fact that I Can't Write Shite. It's because I've got the attention span of a 5 year-old on pop rocks.

So. I've got to actually WRITE something to post here, but know that I'm on the job (I do so sincerely hope this isn't a euphemism for something else in another country, because then that looks REALLY bad)!

Anyhoo. Hows about a quick tidbit while I get my brain into the proper frame of mind? Right!
The biggest weapon the H likes to wield is that of communication--that is the squashing of ANY communication/contact with the outside world. I believe Phinny has mentioned this previously (with regards to having people over). Indeed, during my own stay down there I learned this first hand.

'Oh, Typh? Just WHY do you have to call your mother/best friend/random operator who is just sane and will tell me it's not REALLY that bad everyday?'

And there was but ONE reason for my need to call home:

Because I would have offed myself otherwise!

That phone was my only means of keeping the frayed edges of my sanity from disappearing altogether. And she complained no end.

(It was not as if her phone were ringing off the hook. And they had call waiting. And it was unlimited long distance. Yet she always complained that somehow it was inconveniencing her)

Now she's trying to pull the same shit with my mother. First it was 'WHY must you talk to Typh every day?'

Then it was, 'You know I've got to pay for those calls!'

(My mother had been under the impression that the long-distance was still unlimited--and I think it was, actually. Especially since Ma made mention of perhaps paying her fair share upon viewing of a bill. Which, naturally, was never procured, probably because it was bullshit)

So. To cut out all the arguing and to remove all the possiblity of arguing, Ma did the smart thing. She bought a phone card. You know those clever little cards? Dial an 800 number, make your call and it deducts the minutes from your talk time?

Brilliant! It was the perfect solution!--or so she thought.

H catches her on the phone:

'You know those calls cost me money!'

Ma wielded her phone card and shouted 'Aha! I have beaten you! For I have this phone card, I dial an 800 number, and the call costs YOU nothing!'

But H banned her from using it anyway BECAUSE she knows things.

'Those things don't work and it is going to show up on my bill anyway because I've seen it happen before! Those cards are NOT free!'

Ok. Fine. I will ring down there (and, a course, Ma will use the calling card when no one is looking).

The other night, nine-ish, I call.

'Hi Ma!'

'Hi Typh!'

*general chit-chat ensues*

'Typh? She just told me to tell you not to call so late'

'What? It's nine-ish for gods sake! Since when is nine-ish too late? What's she a fucking geriatric now?'

'You know the deal-she just doesn't want me on the phone'

'Is she still awake?'

'Yes'

'Kids awake?'

'Yes'

'Then what's the problem? Jesus she's SUCH an asshole'

'God, yes'

The Plot Thickens

2008-12-28T05:23:00.000-05:00

Apparently, according to what was said to my sister tonight, the ex has made the claim that the only reason I am still residing in her realm is because I have been threatening to blackmail her in regards to her relationship with my brother. Lo and behold, I, having only found out yesterday for certain that said relationship was fact and not rumor, must have managed to travel backwards in time to persue said blackmailing scheme. What a clever man I must be. Yes, I was blackmailing her with pure speculation and no actual knowledge. The fact that I had joked about it once when someone asked if she was porking the druncle is, in her twisted world, viewed as blackmail. If that's the case wheres my money? Shouldn't I be recieving retroactive blackmail payments? I mean if I really cared who was boinking who I'd have told her other ex-flame, the gangbanger, about her relationship with the druncle in NY and her former coworker in VA. But I myself have bigger fish to fry, wasting my time on he said she said teenage BS helps me none. I would never resort to blackmail, which is exactly why the audio I have of her admitting that I have lived in her house since my arrival in VA will not be used in such a manner but will be turned over to the proper agencies. I'm sure DCSE will be interested in hearing it and I guarantee you Social Services will come a knockin' at her door. See, she won't even know the audio files exist until she hears it in a courtroom and then finally maybe me and the kids can enjoy a little peace. As I had predicted, just like any other tyrant she will be her own undoing and I don't even have to extort or blackmail....I just have to wait for her paranoid delusions to do her in...

The Druncle and The Lich Queen

2008-12-27T08:14:00.002-05:00

So at about 3:30 brother stumbles into house, rousing one and all from their slumber. Noise level even prompting phone call from resident landlord downstairs asking if someone is moving furniture (???). Yes, our family always wakes in the middle of the night to rearrange end tables and futons. Fact of the matter is brother had inadvertently smashed his drunken noggin into the hallway wall and family pooch had tripped up the old wooden stairs at the same time. Everyone begins to settle back down and I am about to go to store for smokes and coffee. Ex is laying on mattress with daughter and begins to whisper. She thinks everyone else is asleep. She begins telling daughter how things are going to change because she has dirt on the uncle, (The aforementioned drunken stumbler) And he is trying to blackmail her. What neither of the two idiots realize is that no one here cares that he slept with her. Nor do we care that they are about to wage war on each other. I stand in shadows and listen as ex launches into details about how she is going to report everything about my brother and make him look like a jackass. Why on earth she is talking about this with my 13 year-old daughter I will never know. Daughter is aware of my presence the whole time and does nothing to give away my position. Finally, mother nature calls and I have to give myself up. Ex gets extremely nervous and begins questioning how much I know. Actually, I knew nothing, anything I had up until tonight was rumor and speculation. And to be honest I don't care whether or not they bumped uglies. But now she is in mortal fear of me going to report to my brother her plan. She may as well forget that idea because when all is said and done this little personal crises of hers may finally provide me with enough to finally put her in her place and for me to really be able to have my kids without having to deal with the Lich Queen or the Druncle.

Driving Miss Crazy

2008-12-27T07:26:00.002-05:00

Summer 2006...Exes mother now too sick to drive for daily shopping sprees. Sister is brought down again to be relief chauffer. Is constanly belittled by ex. Told that all the childrens personality flaws are from our side of family. Ex doesn't realize that children were fine before being forced to live in a household whose relations to the outside world is reminiscent of Japan's isolationist stance during the Tokugawa shogunate . Anyone caught talking about anything in regards to "Household issues" is chastised. Visitors are rare. (Only five people had visited at this point, all of them being exes siblings or my own. Any other persons visiting exes domicile are verboten .) Sister is constantly beleaguered by ex to drive her and her sickly mother here and there. The idea that my sister might need a few dollars here and there is frowned upon and anytime funds are given a lecture on financial prudency is given. This would be acceptable had the lecture not come from the two biggest shopaholics on the face of the earth. Sister finally gets fed up and with the assistance of one of her blog readers and his paypal donation escapes back to NY. Exes mother now critical. Ex has learners permit calls my mother back down, subjugates another family member once again. Keeps track of every expense. (Food, drink, toilet paper usage, etc., etc...) Mother schedules doctors appointment while helping ex and her mother and is summarily lambasted by ex for trying to steal the sympathy from exes mother. Her mother agrees that my mother going to see doctor while she is so sick is in poor taste. Soon the mother will pass and the power will shift...or so we thought...

The Final Straw

2008-12-24T14:08:00.002-05:00

Yesterday...6:00 P.M.:Mother arrives at house with daughter and ex. Ex instantly begins screaming about how everybody better be ready to leave when she is. Daughter goes in exes room to burn CD for trip. (Son had been burning his own music, preventing daughter from taking care of hers.) Ex announces that she is ready to leave. I am looking for jacket that will provide some relative warmth in NY, son is finishing packing his clothes, daughter is still trying to burn CD. Ex goes out and starts car, begins to lean on horn. Knowing the child was not given enough time, I deliberately stall for time. (CD's for burning were not brought home until 4 P.M., son was burning his own music, daughter had gone to store with my mother, unaware that grandmother was going to pick up ex before returning home.)

Ex comes charging back into house. "I said let's f***ing go. I said I wanted to leave and if you ain't out in the f***ing car we're leaving you here." I whisper a silent prayer of thanks that I was in doorway of exes room when she came in otherwise things might have gotten uglier. Finally persuade daughter to give up music quest and come out to car. Get in car listen to 20 minute tirade about how she wanted to leave and how daughter had more than enough time to burn music. Kid is in tears, I try to explain lack of proper time to prepare music and am rebuffed as per usual. Ex continues to rag, kid continues to cry I try to reassure child and am accused of being to soft and told that she was raised to be hardened and that the child's crying should be stifled lest she be forced to pull off highway to "Kick her ass". (Considering I was in back seat, this event never would have occured. I have tanked for my daughter before and would have done it again.) Threat passes, silence ensues.

Drive for about two hours ex pulls off highway to get kid McDonalds. I see a Wawa and state that I would like to get a coffee. Ex deliberately passes Wawa and says "Oh, sorry missed driveway slot...No wait. I'm not sorry. F*** you and your f***ing Wawa." (Sidenote:As I am typing this sister called ex who is out at store with our mother and asked if she could pick up coffee for me and hot chocolate for her and is promptly berated for daring to ask for anything that has no direct relation to exes needs or wants.) We pull into McDonald's drive-thru child places order, ex pulls up to window.While being handed food she recieves text message. Hands the food to child and sits at drive-thru window texting in spite of the fact that there are others behind her in line. Curses as she has to move and curses again because the parking spot she wanted to pull into is now blocked by an old lady getting out of a car in the next spot. She demands to know why people insist on being in her way an angrily pulls into another spot. My mother announces she has to use facilities launching ex into another tirade about her time being wasted on our needs. Mother goes inside to take care of business, daughter announces that they have neglected to give her a straw for her shake. Ex declares that that is too bad and she'll have to suffer without. So I open my door and am asked "Where are you going now?" Upon hearing I am going to get the child a straw, she begins to utter a stream of profanities. Grab straw from inside go back out to car and am told that I better stop f***ing giving into that little bitch.

And she's going to wonder why when we get back to VA she's going to have a lot of explaining to do to a couple of agencies.

Ten Shillings and Six

2008-12-23T06:51:00.002-05:00

Well! Phinny has ~~politely asked~~ ordered me--as only a sibling can order[via threats of baby pictures and the infamous Dog Poo Story]--to post in his stead while his puter is busy in Circuitorial Purgatory. Hopefully he can revive it, for I do not think I can post here like ALL the time because I would NEVER STOP WHINGING. Matters H*?--I'm well versed, me.

I'm going to TRY to write in the fashion he does--but I wouldn't hold my breath. I've got the attention span of a kindergarten class in a chocolate factory.

Onward!

Cancelling. And the H* Headfuck. This is the specialty of which we speak. Whenever there is a big event, you can be SURE it will be cancelled fifty-thousand times previous. This is fine for we adults--we can surely handle it, yes? Sort of. I suppose. Maybe?

It's truly bothersome, though, when its the kids heads that get put through the wringer.

Take for instance yesterday. Highness decides that yes minions! We shall travel for the Time of Yule! Oh. But guess what, even though we are going to see your father's family? He's not allowed to go. Because he doesn't have money for gas. So he is not permitted to set foot in the Royal Coach. Naturally the children have a fit--no Christmas with their Da? What's the point? And although I suspect that by now they KNOW its a headfuck--it's still got to be distressing. And, as we all knew would happen, Highness changed their mind at the last minute--what if the coach breaks down? We need a man there! So, Phinny is permitted to go, but only because it suits Her Needs. And there's the rub--if you can be useful to her MO, well that's fine and dandy. Otherwise? You're out of the picture.

This isn't a new thing, either. No no no. Heavens to Betsy, no.
There has been, over the years, a myriad of cancelled vacations, Christmases, Easters, and birthdays. ESPECIALLY birthdays. And any other fun holiday-type occasions.
We adults were the biggest idiots; we fell for this for AGES.

'Do what I say or I cancel XYZ!'

Example:

Childs birthday. Big backyard bash. Child is about to turn three-ish. Or four. It matters not because it happened every year anyway. All of us, save for Harpy, are busily setting up the yard for the Grand Event. We take a break. A face pops out of a window:

'What are you all doing?'

'Taking a rest-everythings on track though'

'Nothings going to be ready in time. Forget it! Child come up here. There isn't going to be a birthday party!'

Child in tears, the Voice Above commands us to Stop Working. We don't because by now we knew the deal.

'I don't know why you're doing all that! There's not going to be a birthday! I don't like the way it looks and it's not going to be perfect or ready on time the way I said it would! And you're not doing things exactly the way I told you to! I'm CANCELLING IT!'

We had it sorted by this point--we knew it wasn't going to be cancelled. It simply allowed Highness to luxuriate in the royal bed whilst the rest of us did the work.

Sure, we could have STOPPED doing the work, but that course of action always failed--we'd been there and done that with disastrous results. And what about the child who thinks the party isn't going to happen now?

You give them a wink, tell them there WILL be a party, and go in the house for now as you were told--it'll be ok--I promise. Our words, of course, were no comfort, because for the next 4.5 hours all the child would hear was how everything was ixnayed. No cake. No presents. No people. For added fun we would all be blamed 'Well if Aunt had done this or Uncle had done that! And grandmother didn't get the right BBQ sauce!' or something similarly silly.

No one was coming, as far as the child was concerned--their mother said so. And though we spoke the truth to the child, H*'s words were the one they heeded. Until the party started.

Then, as if earlier had never EVER happened, Highness trots in to the party. Greets and meets everyone and acts as if Everything is Perfect. Waves a hand in the air as if she were the one who'd done all the work, and then says to child with the tear-stained face 'I did this all for YOU'

And this, THIS is the beauty of the H* Headfuck. For all the hours of torture you just went through, every word, every threat, every repeated line of drivel--it all vanishes into thin air. For if she doesn't recall it, neither should YOU.

It doesn't work that way, though. It never will.

Typhoidmarie

Fall of the House...

2008-12-04T19:33:00.003-05:00

Spring 2004...Situation now at fever pitch...still in car...wife stops paying rent to mother...her own mother now at house...has cancer..still calling shots..Stopped feeding into the verbal sparring at least ethnic wise...Racial slurs from both sides affecting children...Stupid and immature...now begin by using mythological reference instead...She is now dubbed "Harpy"...Still hear the word "Honky" consistently from both wife and mother...Not necesarrily in reference to myself but still in use...Boss is still taking his little side trips with girlfriend...workload doubles...Now doing routes AND doing his paperwork...Still on 19 hr a day schedule...Supervisor calls while I am in office...Out cold, didn't hear the phone...Boss charges in grabs me out of chair, pins me up against wall (Boss=@250 lbs goes to gym every day Me=140 lbs semi-malnourished)...Can't break loose...Place my thumbs in his eye sockets, he releases...One look at my face and he backs into a corner and tells me to calm down....Girlfriend begins recieving phone calls...Quickly turns off phone whenever it rings...Go to pick her up one day, she has no idea I'm there and she is arranging to meet someone else that night...Accusations fly, this too, soon will end...Mother loses house because wife wasn't paying rent...Bank forcloses everyone forced to relocate...

Summer 2004 Still at job doing paperwork, discover that boss has been submitting payroll with myself marked as working five days and himself working seven...Still takes orders from wife...Corporate comes in numerous times, not enough evidence nothing is done...Break-up with girlfriend...Wife's mother moves to Virginia...beats cancer...See ad for halliburton...driving trucks in Iraq for 100k a year....Wife is moving to Virginia with kids...So walk off job after submitting resume to KBR (Halliburton subsidiary)...HQ in Houston, figure I should go there to follow up...Wife finds out I quit job and now files for child support, wouldn't apply while I was working because she wouldn't get as much...Arrive in Houston, friend is supposed to wire money...Nope, never sends it...Now in Greyhound station with very little money...Forced to return to New York with head hung low in shame...Take up residence in mother's apartment with her my brother and my sister...I am informed landlord cannot know I am there, so I remain inside, lest she catch me leaving...Wife brings kids by to say goodbye to mother, aunt and uncle hates the fact that I am there too to say goddbye to kids...Kids are gone, job is gone,girlfriend is gone...Become a virtual hermit not setting foot outside for roughly five months...

Fall 2004 I am summoned to Virginia...wife has taken ill...her mothers cancer is back...they need help with kids...Go to Virginia stay until Decmeber or maybe January...Go back to New York...

Spring 2005 Taxtime, getting back final tax return need wifes signature to file...She says to come down to Virginia...File taxes sign divorce papers...Says if I give her $4000 out of the $8000 she will tell child support to take $4000 off my arrears...Agreed...Go to Virginia again...Stay in motel for a few days kids pester her into letting me stay in son's room...Give the $4000...Sign divorce papers...Remind ex about agreement...Oh, no, I spoke to child support and they said I don't have to apply it to your debt...Conned again...Leave Virginia yet again...back to New York...Late springtime...Recieve phone call daughters been acting up (Wonder why?)...Get down here or she goes to group home or gets put on meds...Go back to Virginia...Stay this time...

Summer 2005 Exes mother's cancer gets worse...I have no license...ex has no license...She calls my sister to come down and help...Sister comes down has no money (Can't work because of epilepsy)...Ex refuses to lend her money to return to New York once my sister decides she has had enough abuse...Report to child support that I now reside in Virginia...Have a support hearing in New York in December...Hard to find a job here struggling to survive...Sleeping on floor in son's room...Ex and mother go out shopping everyday,sister chauffers...(No exaggeration)...

Fall 2005 Sister escapes back to New York...I call child support ask if I still have court date in New York...They call New York and say no, since I now live in Virginia the case up there will not be heard...I double check call New York family court recieve same respone...Have my sister, who has returned there, to check in person...Same answer...

Winter 2005 Uneventful...Until end of December...Recieve offical NYS court document saying that since I failed to appear(???) a default judgement has been issued against me...I now owe $646 a month for the past year and a half...They inform me the settlement is based on past income...Ex assures me I can go for a review when I get a job here...

Spring 2006 Get a job at warehouse...tell ex I am going for review...She reneges on deal says if I go for review she will throw me out of house...65% of my check now goes to child support...

(Example:This past pay period:Gross pay:628.40 Net pay after support, taxes, insurance and $18 for 401k:118.23)

The Beginning of the End

2008-12-04T03:00:00.001-05:00

Sometime around 2000. Tension had been running high for years. Wife's demands becoming even more burdening with the sudden reappearance of her mother. Working two jobs will no longer suffice. I MUST get another job so that they may buy things that will elevate their status. After refusing said demand, I am cut out of a lot of things pertaining to decisions in family policy. Arguments grow fiercer, sometimes denigrating into the mutual hurling of racial slurs and cursing. Stress is compounded by bosses insistence that I sit in office doing his work while he goes off gallivanting with his girlfriend. Trapped in hostile territory at home, same goes for work.

Early 2001, meet woman, very pleasant, not demanding at all, doesn't care I have no money to spend on her. Affair begins. Continue this way in secret for two years. (I know complete scumbag maneuver... no need to remind me...I'm reminded every day..).

Early spring 2003, knew this day was coming, had been anticipating it for years...Caught in my own web..no escape now...Confront wife upon her discovery of my infidelity...No remorse only anger...I had been sidelined by her and her mothers need for control...And she had broken one of my four Cardinal Rules of a Relationship... Rule#4:Never use sex (or withholding of such) as a weapon else I shall seek out a new arms dealer....

Late summer 2003..Suspicions I had had for years turn out to be true...Due to her mothers position as manager in the bank money, has been being shifted here and there to cover

spending habits...Left the house earlier in the summer and had been sleeping in my car...still working ...still driving my kids around...Call from my daughter on the day of her birthday party pleading with me not to come because mommy said she would call the cops if I showed up at the bowling alley (?)(No criminal record here. Never had even been approached by a police officer in my life) I knew the cops would have no reason for arrest, in fact, was pretty sure wife would get in trouble...But to save my child the pain of such a nasty spectacle I refrained from appearing at her party...(Did see her later, her, my son and myself had our own get together.) During this time wife had also been pursuing me for...*ahem* that which she had withheld before...

October 2003...Wife informs me that she wants entire paycheck...I may keep $100 but she gets the rest...emotional blackmail ensues...not to mention aggravated harassment...Shows up at job and informs me that if she does not get her money certain accusation will fly...The type of thing that even if proven false in court, still cause you to become a pariah. Stop interacting with children at this point...Ask boss to help but she has already informed him that if he moves against her she will tell his wife about his girlfriend boss tells her he will do whatever he can to help her keep me in check(She actually gloated about this at a later date.) Get third job, now working 19 hrs a day for six days a week 16 hours a day on seventh....Can only afford gas for car, insurance and basic needs...Still sleeping in car...Can't afford place to live and she still lives in my mother's house. (We had been renting the apartment upstairs.) Nedd car because all three jobs are mainly driving jobs..Begin to physically break down under strain...Numerous acccidents..one of which is permanently memorialized by a long black and red streak mark on divider of Verrazano Narrows bridge.

Winter 2003...Still in car, still working three jobs...Barely ever see kids except when they harass their mother to have grandmother drive them down to make sure daddy is okay...No driver side window because of accident mentioned above..heater is broke down...Boss says I can sleep in office....Wife finds out I am sleeping in office, calls corporate. Corporate calls boss asks if anyone has been sleeping on premises...Boss says no but informs me that it's back out to the car I go (I would park in front of building to sleep). Cold as hell...numerous snow storms...Put cardboard in drivers side window spot...Hunkered down under three flannels, sleep as best I can.