The Druncle and The Lich Queen

So at about 3:30 brother stumbles into house, rousing one and all from their slumber. Noise level even prompting phone call from resident landlord downstairs asking if someone is moving furniture (???). Yes, our family always wakes in the middle of the night to rearrange end tables and futons. Fact of the matter is brother had inadvertently smashed his drunken noggin into the hallway wall and family pooch had tripped up the old wooden stairs at the same time. Everyone begins to settle back down and I am about to go to store for smokes and coffee. Ex is laying on mattress with daughter and begins to whisper. She thinks everyone else is asleep. She begins telling daughter how things are going to change because she has dirt on the uncle, (The aforementioned drunken stumbler) And he is trying to blackmail her. What neither of the two idiots realize is that no one here cares that he slept with her. Nor do we care that they are about to wage war on each other. I stand in shadows and listen as ex launches into details about how she is going to report everything about my brother and make him look like a jackass. Why on earth she is talking about this with my 13 year-old daughter I will never know. Daughter is aware of my presence the whole time and does nothing to give away my position. Finally, mother nature calls and I have to give myself up. Ex gets extremely nervous and begins questioning how much I know. Actually, I knew nothing, anything I had up until tonight was rumor and speculation. And to be honest I don't care whether or not they bumped uglies. But now she is in mortal fear of me going to report to my brother her plan. She may as well forget that idea because when all is said and done this little personal crises of hers may finally provide me with enough to finally put her in her place and for me to really be able to have my kids without having to deal with the Lich Queen or the Druncle.