I'm going to TRY to write in the fashion he does--but I wouldn't hold my breath. I've got the attention span of a kindergarten class in a chocolate factory.
Onward!
Cancelling. And the H* Headfuck. This is the specialty of which we speak. Whenever there is a big event, you can be SURE it will be cancelled fifty-thousand times previous. This is fine for we adults--we can surely handle it, yes? Sort of. I suppose. Maybe?
It's truly bothersome, though, when its the kids heads that get put through the wringer.
Take for instance yesterday. Highness decides that yes minions! We shall travel for the Time of Yule! Oh. But guess what, even though we are going to see your father's family? He's not allowed to go. Because he doesn't have money for gas. So he is not permitted to set foot in the Royal Coach. Naturally the children have a fit--no Christmas with their Da? What's the point? And although I suspect that by now they KNOW its a headfuck--it's still got to be distressing. And, as we all knew would happen, Highness changed their mind at the last minute--what if the coach breaks down? We need a man there! So, Phinny is permitted to go, but only because it suits Her Needs. And there's the rub--if you can be useful to her MO, well that's fine and dandy. Otherwise? You're out of the picture.
This isn't a new thing, either. No no no. Heavens to Betsy, no.
There has been, over the years, a myriad of cancelled vacations, Christmases, Easters, and birthdays. ESPECIALLY birthdays. And any other fun holiday-type occasions.
We adults were the biggest idiots; we fell for this for AGES.
'Do what I say or I cancel XYZ!'
Example:
Childs birthday. Big backyard bash. Child is about to turn three-ish. Or four. It matters not because it happened every year anyway. All of us, save for Harpy, are busily setting up the yard for the Grand Event. We take a break. A face pops out of a window:
'What are you all doing?'
'Taking a rest-everythings on track though'
'Nothings going to be ready in time. Forget it! Child come up here. There isn't going to be a birthday party!'
Child in tears, the Voice Above commands us to Stop Working. We don't because by now we knew the deal.
'I don't know why you're doing all that! There's not going to be a birthday! I don't like the way it looks and it's not going to be perfect or ready on time the way I said it would! And you're not doing things exactly the way I told you to! I'm CANCELLING IT!'
We had it sorted by this point--we knew it wasn't going to be cancelled. It simply allowed Highness to luxuriate in the royal bed whilst the rest of us did the work.
Sure, we could have STOPPED doing the work, but that course of action always failed--we'd been there and done that with disastrous results. And what about the child who thinks the party isn't going to happen now?
You give them a wink, tell them there WILL be a party, and go in the house for now as you were told--it'll be ok--I promise. Our words, of course, were no comfort, because for the next 4.5 hours all the child would hear was how everything was ixnayed. No cake. No presents. No people. For added fun we would all be blamed 'Well if Aunt had done this or Uncle had done that! And grandmother didn't get the right BBQ sauce!' or something similarly silly.
No one was coming, as far as the child was concerned--their mother said so. And though we spoke the truth to the child, H*'s words were the one they heeded. Until the party started.
Then, as if earlier had never EVER happened, Highness trots in to the party. Greets and meets everyone and acts as if Everything is Perfect. Waves a hand in the air as if she were the one who'd done all the work, and then says to child with the tear-stained face 'I did this all for YOU'
And this, THIS is the beauty of the H* Headfuck. For all the hours of torture you just went through, every word, every threat, every repeated line of drivel--it all vanishes into thin air. For if she doesn't recall it, neither should YOU.
It doesn't work that way, though. It never will.
Typhoidmarie
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